Expecting Her
by Adria Ember
Summary: He meant it as a joke.  So how did they get here?    RenjiHime


Expecting Her  
**Disclaimer**: I do not own _Bleach_.  
**Warnings**: some serious sexual content, bad language  
**Summary**: He meant it as a joke. So how did they get here?  
**Notes**: This is a rather long SEQUEL to **GoodLuckMotherFuckers**'s story _You Will?_, with permission. Check it out before this one, please.

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_"Okay."_

It's later in the afternoon, the sun coming through the classroom windows in oranges and yellows. And, he knows, there's only about two other people in the building—a janitor and a determined teacher. There won't be any disturbances for sure. It's just them. Enough time for this.

Her back arches against the desk's surface as she gasps. The sound only encourages him as he snakes an arm around her waist, trailing kisses down her neck. A petite hand timidly holds him closer. Pulling away, the redhead spies her other hand tightly covering her mouth, an attempt to keep any other noise escaping. Smugly, he kisses her jaw.

Something calls for him to be gentle, no forcing it. He can't help it; she _must_ be held with care. Maybe it's his strange view on her or maybe it's because of his hurt. He's not sure which. Everything about her is fragile but he has to remind himself he's just as breakable right now as she is. Though, he could just get this over with but they're soaking up every second they can to draw it out, to forget just a little bit longer. She moves clumsily at some points, almost withdrawn and throws all control to him, which he quickly obliges to. She's not that experienced, he figures and that's probably a good thing, in this case.

_"Okay, Renji-kun."_

Shaking off the sudden shudder, he slips a hand underneath her school vest. Another gasp. His fingers only graze the skin of her side but she's shivering and grasping at his own uniform, as if silently asking for him to embrace her. The arm around her waist obeys the unspoken request and he's burying his head in her hair.

She smells wonderful. Her hair carries a faint scent that he can't identify. Their bodies are pressed so firmly together, he can feel her beating heart, drumming against his own. For a split second, he questions what they're doing. Orihime? She never would have come across to him as the spontaneous type, especially concerning this particular act. Renji doubts her motives but he'd be in the same department as she, considering he's hurting along with her.

Before he can silently dispute their situation anymore, he's abruptly pulled into a rather bold kiss. It astounds him that she would take the initiative. Her tongue forces his lips open but, by then, he's already responding, throwing cares away. His hand moves under her skirt this time, lifting it as he lightly touches her inner thigh. Moaning, she wraps both arms around his neck hesitantly, like he'll bolt at any second. That's more like her; she doesn't want conflict.

Frowning, he breaks away and stares questionably at her. Her eyes fly open and his breath is caught in his throat. Slight anxiousness flashes over her features. He wants to shake his head in amazement, tell her how beautiful she looks. She's a _princess_ here. All the school boys know she's unattainable but somehow she's laying atop a desk, giving him free access to her. He's bent over her form, kissing her and she won't stop him.

_"Let's do that."_

Renji only meant it as a joke. Suggesting to actually doing _this_ on that _damn_ Kurosaki's desk was _just a joke_. But she had glanced up at him as they leaned against the north side of the school's wall, gently smiling and agreed. "Okay, Renji-kun," she had said, "Let's do that." He still can't believe it, or even understand. She's so pure, innocent. She _must_ be to still have a desire to be such a good friend to both Rukia and Kurosaki. Nothing in her voice indicated malice or bitterness. His did, Renji knows. He knows he had sounded disgusted and ever-so hurt. With everything in him, Renji can't understand why hers didn't. Maybe that's what has him doubting; is she feeling _anything_ at all?

Tilting her head, Orihime continues studying him. With a half-hearted smile, he bends down to kiss her forehead tenderly. The act astonishes the both of them. She gasps and he averts his eyes.

_"Let's do that."_

Tightly shutting his eyes, Renji strives to forget the tone she used—how she didn't care about anything else but following through with this. He prays it isn't really what she wants. They're both not in it for the long run and he won't be around for long. Kurosaki will, though, and she'll live with that. Rukia will and he'll have to see her with that pain too. He doesn't want to share this pain with her. Desperately, Renji wishes he can be alone and not deal with knowing _she's_ hurting as well. This world should only consist of him with such a burden and now it's hers. All because of _them_.

He feels her fingers quickly unbuttoning his shirt and he blinks away the troubles again. She allows him to open her top, her hands busily and shakily working to get his shirt off. Shrugging it away, Renji catches her eyes flickering over the black markings over his chest. Lightly, as if he'd recoil, she touches the tattoo on the left side of his neck, following it to his chest, mesmerized. He shudders and feels his arousal grow, though it goes unnoticed. With question, Orihime locks gazes with him.

"It's nothing," Renji rasps out and pulls at her skirt again.

Complying, Orihime lets the skirt fall off her hips and pool to the floor, along with her bra, flushing red as he stares with a smirk. His hands softly brush over her breasts and she covers a sudden whimper. It's beginning to grow painful at how slow things are going but he grits his teeth and lazily follows the line of her body to between her legs. A large gasp escapes Orihime's lips and her back arches again as he slips a single finger within her. She's wriggling and would have fallen off the desk if Renji hadn't been holding her closely. He's shocked at how tight she is. He felt her whole body nearly quake and her breathing quicken. Gradually, he moves his finger out then back in.

It almost hurts when she breaths out, "Renji-kun." That's not how it should go; shouldn't she be thinking about Kurosaki? Not that he really wants her too, and it's not like he's pretending it's Rukia beneath him, but it seems odd she'd say that. He doesn't ponder it a second longer as he continues. His name is repeated like a mantra and Renji tries to control his desperate arousal. Renji's pretty sure this goes along the lines of sexual frustration. However, the way her voice carries his name (_Renji-kun, Renji-kun, Renji-kun_...), ignites a dangerous feeling within him. He wants to hear _more_. Her body trembles and she's crying out, a hand gripping his wrist. Not to stop him but to keep going. It doesn't take too long when she tenses, covering a scream. When Renji glances back at her face, he feels a twinge of alarm as water begins to fall from the side of her face.

She opens her eyes to meet his stare. It's seconds before those tears roll down the princess's cheeks, causing small pools upon the wood desk. It doesn't take him long before it finally dawns upon him. And his heart skips a beat.

It's her first time.

Oh. _Oh, fuck_. He had miscalculated,_ big time._ He's so stupid, how could he have not even _thought_ of it? He hadn't prepared for something like this. He's never been good enough for these things. Why _now_? Why when they're right in the middle, he has to figure this out? Why would she choose _him_? He's nothing. Compared to Kurosaki, he's a joke in her world. And Renji knows he's nothing but a street rat that got off lucky, entering a world of warriors. She's a princess, always has been that way, he's sure. She loves Kurosaki, _not him_. Why would she go along? She had never been with someone before and he didn't how to react appropriately.

He breaks away, stumbling back, hitting against another desk, as she quickly sits upright. Talk about a mood killer. Renji's recklessly gripping onto the back of another desk, afraid of falling to his knees. He's confused and ashamed. So many emotions have been thrown his way today and it's swiftly becoming too hard to bear. This wasn't supposed to happen. She wasn't supposed to choose him for her first time. It was supposed to be a _quick_,_ one time_ thing. No attachments, no strings.

"Renji-kun..." Orihime whimpers, staring directly at him.

She's trying. She's stepping out of her comfort zone and _trying_, and, _fuck_, he knows. But he can't face that right now and shakes his head once. He sees something turn within her. It's not so tragic because the worst has already happened (damn, _damn_ that Kurosaki). It's like watching a light slowly fade. It hurts twice as much now because the last chance for comfort has gone away and now she's dealing with the same thing. No, not the same thing, he realizes, feeling sick. She's never been with someone—he _has_. It doesn't balance things out and he wants to crumple to the ground.

The princess's eyes avert away from his and he takes the exit she gives.

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—x—

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Urahara's Shop is often clean and he knows that is partially because Kisuke keeps everyone working consistently, despite the lack of customers. Yoruichi hardly lifts a pretty finger to help but she's usually out working on more important things. Tessai and the two kids do most of the work. Now that they have a spare shinigami, all the chores fall upon Renji, much to his annoyance.

He's outside, sweeping the front diligently. It's been free of dirt for minutes but he's intent to draw out the work. He needs _something_ to keep his mind away from the mess he's made. No hollows (though, whatever alerts he gets, it's gone seconds later, thanks to the great amount of shinigami's in the area lately), no more chores after this and he's not feeling up to training with someone. Training alone will only serve as a reminder, since he associates it with Rukia. He's stuck.

Renji pauses to cover his eyes momentarily. Ugh, he's such an idiot. He should have known she'd be a virgin. Out of everyone in that damn school, she's the easiest to pick out. But it had never occurred to him before, having been too preoccupied with arrancars, fighting and an incoming war. It just never crossed his mind. Having been with other women—_experienced_ women—he had been ignorant. They've never been women he really desired and most of the times he had been drunk. Though, he hardly has an excuse this time—Renji was aware this time.

He wonders if that's the meaning of being "caught in the moment". Were they? He never planned it and it was a joke before it had been taken seriously. Renji recalls staring at her with great surprise as she seized his wrist and they sneaked back into the school. He remembers how sure she had looked, as if she had done this before. It wasn't Kurosaki's desk they chose, but close enough (he's going to have to warn Asano to disinfect his desk...nah, never mind).

It had been stupid of him. Renji still feels guilty. He could have stopped it. What they were going to—well, kind of already doing—was all that was in his mind at the time. He wanted some sort of shelter, something to forget Rukia. But all he's done is hurt both himself and Orihime further.

Leaving to retreat inside the shop to put away the broom, he hears a scrape behind him. It's like a rock being stepped on and he whirls around to find someone there. His heart stops as he recognizes Orihime immediately. His mouth opens to talk—he doesn't know what, but he has to say _something_.

Orihime shyly pushes some hair off her shoulders. Soon, Renji discovers he's not going to be able to voice anything because his breath gets caught in his throat the second he tries. Nerves overwhelm him and he's gripping the broomstick so hard, he's amazed it doesn't snap. She's _right in front_ of him, staring ahead, predictably dressed in a modest blouse and long skirt.

"Good afternoon..." she begins, uncertain as he is.

Renji can only manage a nod. What is she doing here? To say sorry? _Fuck_, he thinks, _don't apologize—it's my fault._ If not that, then probably something else like a heart-stabbing, "I wanted Kurosaki-kun more, just so you know," or a pleading, "Please forget what happened." But she shuffles closer and meets his gaze with mysterious determination.

She asks if they can talk somewhere else and he gets the hint, nodding an affirmative. Refusing to touch her, Renji suppresses the urge to take her wrist and lead her inside. Instead, he waves towards the door and walks through it. As she steps in the shop, he hastily places the broom behind the counter. By this time of day, the rest of the Urahara group is down in the training area, fixing things up or just going at it. He prays no one will discover her being here, though knowing Kisuke, he probably can sense her reiastu.

Opening the back to the shop, they walk to the room he had been given. He slides the door open and she glides inside. With a brief look around, Orihime stares back at him. He stays near the doorway, as if it's his only way out of this situation. He's like a bundle of nerves and, when he spies a slight trembling in her hands, he knows she is too. They stand there, waiting for the other to speak. Renji has a feeling he'll have to, considering the slow pace of this 'talk'.

But Orihime wrecks his assumptions again as she steps closer, a pained look across her face as she whispers, "I'm sorry."

Before he can properly react, her hands cover both sides of his face and lips cover his hotly. He can only muster a choked protest as his back hits the wall. With a fluid motion, Renji quickly slides the door closed in instinct and finally breaks the kiss. Staring wide-eyed at her, he searches her face for any sign of what she's thinking.

"What's—?"

"Oh! I'm sorry," she says frantically, covering her red face. "I—I know it doesn't make much sense and I just came out of nowhere and you have no idea what's going on and—"

"Okay, okay," Renji places both hands on her shoulders, quieting her. "So, now that you've summed up what's going on, can I have a reason?"

Her weight shifts to one foot in distress. "I...I don't..." Slightly frustrated with herself, Orihime sighs. Starting again, she averts her eyes and says deliberately, "Could you...just go with it?"

Renji wants to stare at her with disbelief and demand what she means. It's crazy and he nearly huffs at the appeal. "Just go with it"? Does she just jump at these things all the time? He'd like to know because handling her is like handling a fireball at the moment. But when presented the opportunity, Renji has a tendency to "just go with it" because that's what he's good at. Planning has never been part of his personality, actually.

_She_ came to _him_. The mere act speaks volumes and he thinks she has a whole lot more courage than he does. Before, he had dreaded to see her face again, yet she has directly approached him and it only confuses him. Why? Why would she want to see him? However, Renji really hates the whole thinking-about-what-this-means part. Ignoring the serious amount of cons that outweigh the pros, Renji decides to take up her suggestion.

It's obvious she feels the need to explain herself just a bit more as she states, "I know it's not...normal but maybe we could—"

Renji interrupts Orihime with a kiss because he doesn't need any more convincing. She breathes in at the abrupt move. Pulling back, Renji tilts his head to the side to study her once more. Her lips twitch upwards into a sheepish smile, though he feels her grow confident. She didn't just come here on a whim, he realizes. She thought this out. Or maybe planned it out to this point. If he wanted to run, he wouldn't really go too far; he's stationed here. The invitation is so clear—it's not "in the moment" anymore.

And then it all doesn't matter as he threads his fingers through her hair and she's pulling at his, releasing the vibrant red strands. There's a different nature to her this time and he's still unsure if he should admire it. He begins towards the futon nearby, holding her against him. Her back falls softly upon the blankets. The new familiarity of her body comes back to him as he runs a calloused hand along her leg, pushing the long skirt up to her waist. With each touch, she bends to his move and he finds the influence thrilling.

Orihime whispers something but he can't hear it—a full sentence, as if she's informing him of something important. But he's in a hurry to get what he wants and doesn't ask for it to be repeated. With light touches, Renji travels the length of her abdomen. Lifting the shirt, Orihime tosses it to the floor and Renji gives her a peculiar look at the rushed motions. Anxiousness? She sits up and he thinks, with laden desire, that she is about to kiss him until he feels a tug at his shirt. He leans away to give room as she undresses him. When Renji let's it fall off, he looks back only to find her eyes trained on the tattoos once again.

"Are they a reminder of something?" she asks quietly, as if talking too loud will hurt him.

When she tentatively touches the lines upon his chest, Renji plants his hand over hers, holding it there. It's shocking how cold her fingers are, like she's always been so withdrawn to human warmth. His scalding skin is a harsh contrast to hers.

Hoarsely, he answers Orihime, "Something like that."

Releasing her small hand, he doesn't mind when she follows the variety of twists along his chest. Her fingers fall farther to the hem of his pants. The gray-hue of her eyes flicker to his dark ones in a small question. Soon enough, the bottoms join the rest of the clothing on the floor. Her skirt's left but it doesn't seem to matter when he watches her hand enwrap him suddenly. He has to concentrate on choking on the yell that threatens to tumble out of his mouth. It comes out as a muffled grunt and she instantly looks up, interested. Closing his eyes, Renji wills his quivering body to calm down as her fingers move over his length, up and down.

She's watching him, as if his reactions are something so fascinating. Stealing a look at her, she smiles, almost with an unintended smirk, having found a new power. It's enough for him to crash his lips upon hers. A surprised yelp is caught in her throat as he thrusts a finger inside her. She breaks away and says his name unevenly. He decides he likes the way her voice caresses the word with such need. She _needs _him. That's fine with Renji because right now, he _really_ needs her.

Moving at a deliberate speed, his finger moves within her. Her hand grips his shoulder for stability as her body shakes. Two fingers and she's whimpering. Renji purposely pulls in and out slowly and the princess let's her head fall into the crook of his neck and whispers, "_Faster_." With a smirk, Renji obeys and enjoys the way she has to smother a scream into his neck as she comes.

Like she'll break, Renji gently pushes her on her back again. Pausing, he watches as she breathes heavily, chest rising and falling deeply. Red prettily stains her cheeks, from her bashful nature or the mere activity, he's certain. This is it and he suddenly grasps he still hasn't prepared himself for this. Never had he been with a virgin and, well, that just complicates things for him. It's until he feels a hand upon his cheek, Renji discovers he's been holding his breath. Something runs through his blood, suddenly—an abnormal and warm sensation as her fingers stroke the side of his face.

Locking gazes with her, Orihime offers a big smile, closing her eyes. "You don't have to be nervous, Renji-kun."

"I—I don't kn—"

"Don't worry," she tells him with strange cheer.

Her behavior makes him chuckle and he bends down to kiss her jaw. Though, as he pulls away, Orihime catches him off guard and places a light kiss on his lips, like a small blessing. He feels like the roles have been switched because she's so much braver than he is at this moment. She loves another man and yet she's tossing permission his way, her full trust in his hands.

Her legs wrap around his back securely and those smooth arms lock around his neck, holding him closer. With one, smooth move, he's inside her. Her body shakes and she covers her mouth as she whimpers in pain. Kissing her neck, he wishes he wouldn't be trembling as much as she is. Orihime buries her face within the hollow of his neck and he holds the back of her head firmly.

Aching moments later, he hears a weak, "All right, it's fine now..."

He's not sure why, but he's kissing her fiercely all over again. It's a question and an apology all at once but she sighs into it and smoothing the damp hair from his brow. The thrusts begin and she doesn't protest and he half-wonders why not. Soon, nothing really registers except for the pleasure. She arches into him, his name spilling from her lips in satisfaction over and over. And, _fuck_, she feels good. Every fucking thing about her feels good.

It ends too soon. She finishes before him, her muscles tense and still latched onto him, calling his name. As he comes, he buries his face into her neck, desperately trying to keep quiet. The pleasure is overwhelming—it's never been quite like that before and he wonders what's different this time. It leaves him weak and Renji nearly falls upon her frame. Despite his obvious attempt not to squish her, Orihime's arms pull him down forcefully and he easily collapses. His hair tangles with hers as he rolls over, catching his breath.

When Renji stares forward at her, Orihime's smiling comfortably at him. Right away, Renji feels dangerous, possessive feelings overcome him and, on impulse, he enwraps her frame, tiredly burying his head within her chest. Orihime's hands comb through his hair gingerly.

Renji can feel the attachment grow and he fears when they'll have to say goodbye in a little while. He doesn't belong in her world. Hell, he didn't even belong in _Rukia's_. It's risky and won't end well if he keeps this up. But he loves the feel of her skin against his, the way she touches him and Renji can't help but foster the hazardous emotions.

A part of his mind has to remind him Orihime has always been a love-oriented young woman and Renji wonders what that makes him. Rukia and Ichigo flash before his closed eyes and he inwardly flinches. How could he allow those two hurt them? Both he and Orihime will feel the repercussions of this, somehow. But…she knows this already, Renji figures. She had chosen a path and he's still amazed she chose _him_.

Orihime has ruined every expectation he had once had before. She serves as a marker in his generalizations and assumptions and it's suddenly becoming obvious he's way in over his head now.

He recollects something abruptly and asks in a murmur, "What did you say?"

"Hmm?" she asks, confusion evident.

"Before, you had said something. I didn't hear it."

It's not _that_ imperative he knows but curiosity has a tendency to engulf him. It had been in his little throw of passion and he hadn't cared too much for words. Nevertheless, he's ready to listen to what she has to say. Part of him simply wishes to hear her voice—he'd never admit it (ever, ever, _ever_) but he likes the way it sounds. Such a contrast from others, Orihime's holds something endearing and soothing. Near sleep, Renji believes she won't answer. As he drifts away to slumber, Orihime responds tenderly.

"I said this means I'm yours."

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—x—

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**Author's Notes**

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—x—

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This, I think, could turn into a longer story. I see it being continued, but not by me. With my ability, I'd probably ruin it. And, OMG, this was strenuous; ya'll have no idea how many lemons I had to read just to get the idea. I totally thought I could do it, but I stress out too much. Oh, and no flaming until, like, five months from now because I'm totally self-conscious, concerning this fic.

EDIT: Added another paragraph in addtion to the foreplay~

Comment, PM, and/or read. Just enjoy.


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